No. There are three elements to your relationship; both of you as individuals and the relationship itself. In couples counselling we are working primarily with the relationship from the basis of knowledge of you both as individuals. We are all individuals with different upbringings and experiences. We learn different things about how to behave from childhood, family and friends. Whilst there will have been a conscious fit between you that drew you together, these differences can, over time, start to cause problems, or there may have been a change in circumstances such as birth of children, children leaving home, redundancy, retirement, bereavement, affairs, sexual problems, for example, that have led to a change in dynamics or how you are communicating or experiencing your relationship together.